It made me very sad, and then very furious, and then very sad again, that I knew your past and your present and I wouldn’t know your future. I wanted to help you carry cardboard boxes when you moved out, and make a toast at your wedding, and know your kids.
With ordinary people, sometimes you stop for a moment and think “that was great”. With the people engraved in your heart, you don’t. You go on with them, and never realize you love them so much they have grown inside of you like another organ. And when they’re taken away from you, it’s like having to heal and redirect and enormous amount of vessels and veins and nerves that had their place and now are gone.
I’m guilty of loving this picture.
I did my dress over today.
My stages of party planning are finally getting to the fun part. I’ve drawn over the real Marchesa dress I redesigned, raced to the store early after school with my mother and went over hundreds of shiny fabrics and glittery patches full of rhinestones and sequins.
They threw dozens of combinations of me; pearl grays, black sequins, light rhinestones, pieces of rainbows in abstract patterns over lilac silk, midnight blues with silver sequins, gold glitter over dark reds…
And so it’s done. After weeks of planning and short hours of testing, my dress is ready to be made.
I have guests from all over the place, a custom made dress on the way, the three-story Van Gogh cake, a cake-tasting session this week, menu supervising, invitation printing, RSVP listing, music picking, a party at one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been in and a teenage camping after the party lasting an entire 24 hours. Among other things.
This party is blowing up more every day.
Performing Songwriter Contest Winners 2012
[myself in yellow]
This is for the brothers I never had.
Also, my bikini matches my towel today. How embarrassing.
It’s almost like summer began today.
My pictures from the shoot have arrived!
This conversation looks really random but I can promise you it makes sense.