I’m going blind. One of my eyes is gray.
It hurts to open it and it hurts to try focus and ..
I’m hoping I can see as little as today tomorrow, otherwise..
I did my dress over today.
My stages of party planning are finally getting to the fun part. I’ve drawn over the real Marchesa dress I redesigned, raced to the store early after school with my mother and went over hundreds of shiny fabrics and glittery patches full of rhinestones and sequins.
They threw dozens of combinations of me; pearl grays, black sequins, light rhinestones, pieces of rainbows in abstract patterns over lilac silk, midnight blues with silver sequins, gold glitter over dark reds…
And so it’s done. After weeks of planning and short hours of testing, my dress is ready to be made.
I have guests from all over the place, a custom made dress on the way, the three-story Van Gogh cake, a cake-tasting session this week, menu supervising, invitation printing, RSVP listing, music picking, a party at one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been in and a teenage camping after the party lasting an entire 24 hours. Among other things.
This party is blowing up more every day.
I am happy, but everything around me is clouding slowly for those I love.
Tomorrow Sylvie, Bell and I are going out together, the trinity of storytelling.
It will be the first time I wear autumn/winter clothes in a long while.
I’m so excited.
“So cut the chains open, let it loose now, you’ve been waiting all these years to live
the tickle in the back of your throat is your voice, and it was made to scream”
Clifford C, 9:00 am
“Little by little, inch by inch, we built a house with a garden in the middle of it. And it ain’t much, but it’s a start, you got me swaying along to the song in your heart”
This is for the brothers I never had.
“You had sand in your shoes, a bow in your hair,
you said that we shouldn’t, you said you were scared
[…] I threw it all away, I did it just for you,
and I’d do it all again if it’s all I have to do
And you said you should go, so I asked you to stay,
I tried to kiss you, but you pulled away..”